Riding back downtown south from York University's brand new track facility Phylicia George is visualizing. Replaying the Pan Am 100 meter hurdle finals race in her mind; what worked, what didn't, what will work next time because of the work she plans to put in.
For George, there is little down time. Every waking moment is functional, because this is her time.
At the age of 27 George is in her physical prime. She is running at home in front of family and friends that came from as far as New York and Saudi Arabia. The podium was supposed to be her temporary home at York University, which is situated just five minutes from her house in the Toronto suburb of Vaughn. Even that is strategic, as it leaves her no wasted time in between training sessions at York's track facility in the summer.
During the Canadian winter she stays relentless, travelling to Saint Kitts in track's "offseason" to acclimatize herself with summer temperatures and push her body to the limit.
Yet as I sat with her on a Nike bus on the way back to the athlete village following her fifth place finish in the women's 100m hurdles this much was clear; she's far from finished and always focused.
Far from finished scrutinizing that night. Far from finished evaluating every step and subsequent misstep. In that moment I realize track is unrelenting in a way that I never imagined.
"To do track you have to be a little bit crazy", George says with a laugh. "It's tough but that's why I love it. You always are pushing for more."
It's that maniacal, Type A personality requirement that makes the sport equal parts mental as it is physical. It's the pursuit of a win, a personal best, a meet record or national record. A world record. Always more.
So in reflection, every training session, every lost hour of sleep, every calorie, every cheat day is scrutinized in a "what if?" way that can be all consuming.
George has been running 13.0 very consistently and that is what she ran twice on Tuesday in her heat and again in the final. At her best she's capable of running mid-to-low 12's and the gulf between the two is what drives her and inspires her. A calf injury right before the games is just another hurdle, not just physically but mentally, as far as how hard she could push herself without further injury with the World Championships in Beijing, China looming at the end of August.
No stranger to big match competition, the UConn Huskies 60m and 100m record holder competed in 100m hurdles at the London 2012 Olympic Games and 2011 IAAF Athletics World Championships.
As disappointing as her finish was, the Pan Am Games were more of a research and development opportunity with the World's this year and Rio next year. The toughest part as a competitor is keeping it all in perspective.
"Everything is tailored to be at your best at the very biggest moment," said George. "A big part of track is just following your personal process, and avoiding distractions, staying in your lane literally, and running your race and so you trust when you take the steps and win small victories and improvements the big gains will come on the world stage."
George is not easily rattle or intimidated. She's always been a big game performer.
"I was late to sprint hurdles," says George. "I did short distance sprints first in high school and then 400 meter hurdles in grade 10. Then I eventually fell in love with sprint hurdles.
"You are supposed to take 3 steps per hurdle and I couldn't get it when I first tried I was always 5 stepping. My coach was so frustrated because he'd say you're tall this should be so easy for you. My first ever meet I actually remember it and as soon as I was in competition I three stepped no problem. I've just always been better the bigger the competition."
So now is the time to mentally lock-in on what will help her reach her best in a month's time. Mental cues she says to herself like "front block cue" or to mind the balance of "keeping your speed and attacking the hurdles but don't crash" are the mental gymnastics that keep her flying over the hurdles with sprinter power but with a ballerina-like efficiency.
"Hurdles are interesting," George said. "It's all about rhythm. You have a different rhythm for the first five than the last five. I felt I got out well and attacked the first five which made it more frustrating that I didn't finish the deal the way I wanted to."
The ultimate finish line is lies ahead, in Beijing, the same location she first burst on the scene with the Canadian Junior team in 2006.
So focused all the way back then, George didn't even get to see The Great Wall. She vows on her return trip she'll take time to experience it, saying "when will I ever get this opportunity again?"
It might be a while. The summa cum laude grad has her recommendation letters and plans to apply her laser sharp focus to medical school when she wraps up her track career. She's still undecided if neurobiology, pediatrics, or oncology will be her discipline of choice.
Just like that the homecoming is finished. There might be time to sneak out and spend time with her father Paul in Markham, where she grew up and first fell in love with running, racing him in parking lots.
Family is a welcomed distraction after a tough race. "After meets I don't like to be around a lot of people," George says referring to the other competitors. This highlights the odd dynamic of track where it is an individual sport masquerading as a team sport, where you are trying to beat your teammates. "It's definitely tough and can be awkward. I am friendly but on the track there are no friendships. I can be happy for other people, but as track athletes, unless you finish first you are only happy for others to a point. I've been around it enough now so I get it. The circuit politics don't excite me."
George is excited for Kanye West to close the games and she's hoping Drake makes a cameo appearance. Even more so, she's excited to get back to work.
I watched George miss out on her dream homecoming and then immediately shift her focus to the next challenge. Don't be surprised if the active social media tweets with Nike's running slogan #FindYourFast, because for a track star you are constantly searching for ways to take home a medal that is just tenths of a second within your reach.
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